Love as an Opportunistic Choice

Scenario: A beautiful, young woman could have any man in any room at the snap of her fingers. However, the woman is interested in two men in particular and is trying to decide which one she would want to be in a relationship with. In the juxtaposition of two decent men, what is it that excels one and disenfranchises the other? Is it appearance, availability, money, largely reciprocated interest, or simply an unfounded choice? Either way, it eventually comes down to a choice of sorts.

Oftentimes, the situation is not so blatant as to be choosing between two individual people, but there is no doubt about the fact that we choose. This is not to say that we don’t feel anything towards the people we take interest in, of course, but that the love grows after we decide to love that person. Take in perspective how people, for the most part, don’t fall in love with their best friend’s spouse and how many people have a “type” they pursue. A number of decisions, many unconscious, are based on social “rules”.

Furthermore, there is variation in opportunity. In the aforementioned example, the beautiful woman could have any man she wanted. In other words, she has every opportunity for love or, at least, a date. However, consider the decreasing number of opportunities for love that surface as age accumulates. As people typically date people of relatively close age, an older woman would encounter more married men and less opportunity. She may also be involved with a more serious career, a family from a previous marriage, etc. This difference in opportunistic love is readily portrayed in television, film, and society.

One movie that portrays several of these ideas is Something's Gotta Give, starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. Nicholson stars as Harry Langer, an older man with the tendency to be involved with much younger women. He is dating a woman named Marin who invites him to a family beachhouse. Once there, Harry encounters heart problems and Marin's mother, Erica (Keaton), is left to his care while Marin must return to her daily life. In rash summary, Harry and Erica end up falling in love. This is an anticipated storyline because society seems to deem large age differences in relationships as inappropriate and as an insufficient basis for love. Furthermore, to explore the ideas of compatibility, choice, and comfort, the direction in the movie is foreseen when the fact that Erica is acting as a caretaker is taken into account.